In my article “Are you ready to have kids” I had focused on aspects that probe the emotional and mental readiness of a couple intending parent-hood. But there Is a clear check-list that you as a couple should jointly agree to as well. Consider the following as your check-list. The more you agree to the points mentioned the readier you are for parent-hood.
Can you afford a child?
Running a check on your finances is a crucial step. Yes, you will be absolutely amazing parent, you will shower your baby with unconditional love. But there are so many expenses that come along with a baby. You must factor in expenses that include medical bills for the mummy before and after the pregnancy and expenses once the baby arrives are just a few to consider in the ever-long list of expenses. Do you have a concrete financial plan that will address all the needs of your growing family?
Are you ready to put the child’s need before yours most of the time without feeling exasperated often?
There are going to be sleepless nights (more often than you have imagined) changing of soiled-smelly nappies, dealing with crying spells and many other crazy aspects along with giggles, smiles, cuddles and everything cute and mushy as a combination of your tiny baby’s existence. You may want an expensive car, but you may also need to put away that money to secure your child’s education plan. After a tough week at work all you may want is to sleep in late, but your child wants your attention during the weekend. Unless you are well-off you may also have to forego many of your needs maybe an exotic vacation, expensive automobile over your child’s needs like putting him into a great school, sponsoring his birthday party, braces, trip to Disney World etc. part of the being a “Good-Parent Deal” may sometimes sum-up to putting your child’s needs before yours. Are you prepared for that?
Are you willing to give-up your current lifestyle?
Your current lifestyle could include partying till late with friends over the weekends, spontaneously planning a trek or a vacation, eating out often, full-time work etc. the two of you might just have to bid your good-byes to this lifestyle because babies need a predictable timetable and they have insatiable need for full time care, attention and love. Are the two of you willing to reschedule your priorities to nurturing your baby? Are you willing to compromise on full-time work or partying because your baby needs your attention and not regret about the shift in your priorities?
Are you Physically fit to bear a child?
It is crucial to be aware that a mother needs to be physically fit and free of any complications, lifestyle diseases and nutritional deficiencies. A check with your GP should determine that. Giving your baby the best start at life means getting you’re the mummy-to-be’s health sorted first.
Have you turned to Parent-Hood because you have realistic reasons?
“Realistic reasons” means, you are not pursuing parent-hood because you feel the urge to pass-on your genes! Are you fully aware that the little baby that you are idolizing is going to grow into an unreasonable teenager someday. When these teenagers become adults, you may need to deal with your “Empty-nest syndrome”. Check if you have turned to parent-hood only because you have unconditional love to give to your children. Under no circumstances will you see them as tools to support you in your old-age. It is not entirely wrong to want to be close to your children for love and support in your old age, but seeing them as “investments” for old age could bring in much disappointment, because who really has measured or forecasted the future accurately?