There are so many ways of understanding and experiencing the world around us. Most of our perceptions, thoughts and personality are resultants or influenced by our upbringing, our belief systems and our own unique individual journeys. Hence two individuals going through a similar problem may have completely different reactions towards a similar issue. The individuals concerned, may or may not understand each other’s struggle. Often because our perception of another individual’s problems are often coloured by of our own unique way of responding to the same issue.
This often makes it difficult for people to understand another’s life, their decisions, their behaviours and their actions. This is the same reason why people may resort to problem solving or advising another individual. This is also one of the reasons, why people don’t feel emotionally or mentally equipped enough to listen deeply, understand and empathize with another individual’s problem. They feel like “they, themselves have enough to deal with on their plates”
Which is why reaching out to a counsellor becomes an option that everyone must give a shot at exploring. Finding a counsellor that understands you and who you feel comfortable with, is much like finding a Family Physician or Gynae that you could trust and feel comfortable with. You may get lucky in your first try. But, if you don’t, don’t give up on the process of counselling, but look for another counsellor that grooves with you.
A great counsellor, ‘See’s like the eyes of his client, hears like the ears of his client, feels like the heart of his client’.
A great counselling session often feels like:
- The individual feels that his decisions, thoughts, actions and reactions were respected. The counsellor was truly able understand the individual’s opinions or views. No matter how different they sound from the conventional and expected. They were provided unconditional understanding and support.
- They were provided with a safe place to be heard. Without interruptions, judgements, blaming or advices.
- The counsellor was able to help the individual understand their themselves and their sources of distress.
- The individual felt a sense of validation for their feeling and thoughts.
- The individual felt like they could explore a practical solution to their problems. They were gently guided their way, when they felt emotionally and mentally ready to explore or face their issues and concerns.
Also Read: How counselling changed my life
Here’s an activity on ‘Self-Reflection’ that you could do before you choose to reach out to a counsellor:
- Try to follow a particular time in the day, every day, to reflect about your day. How you thought or responded to the day’s events. Think about how you feel and why.
- Try to monitor those feelings, ask yourself where those feelings come from?
- Try to treat your feelings with the same compassion that you would give to others.
Reach out to Serene Hour for personal counselling